Thursday, June 23, 2005

Indecision.

We had one of those weird telephone moments where nobody says anything for minutes at a time... Unspoken thoughts hung in the air, making it feel heavy.
"You're quiet," She said.

I replied with, "You called Me."

"Well I guess I just hoped you'd be able to cheer me up, I guess."

(sigh). "What's wrong today?"

"Same stuff as every day. I hate it here. I'm so unhappy."

(trying to make light of it and be funny, but not completly kidding), I say, "Well hell, move back home and I'll use my Bertlicious magic wand and make life all better."

(many minutes of silence)

Apparently, NOT the answer she had hoped for. It turned into a very straightforward argument:

"Well how can you just make a joke when you know I'm so sad?"

"What did you want me to say? I'm not the one that moved away. It's hard being away from the people you care about. But that's the choice you made. Nobody pushed you into going. You know you really could quit and come back here and nobody would think bad of you for having tried something new."

"I'm so depressed all the time."

"Yes you have told me so every day for the past month."

"Well what is THAT supposed to mean?!" She asked.

"Nothing. It means exactly what I said."

(silence) "Well. That is not very nice or supportive"

(my turn to speak... very long pause)

"Are you going to say ANYTHING?"

"... I dont know what to say. Anything I say is not what you want to hear so whats the point, you just get angry anyway?"

"I have to go. I'll talk to you later."
She didn't call me today.

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Bert is Feelin'...


Fatigued.

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Bert
If you don't "get it" that's ok. My moods vary from light hearted and amused to darker and often stormy. I do not feel that medication is necessary for the majority of people for every day mood changes, but for some reason everyone I know seems to be on either Zoloft or Prozac. That sums up all that is wrong in the world.
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