Monday, June 16, 2008


Things are going slowly since March, but they are going. I am not yet sure whether or not that is a GOOD thing. This is because I am reluctant to let her back in. A friend stated, more or less, that I should just go with it and see what happens - for the "good time" if not for any other reason. The thing is, I want to be with her (believe that I do, because I am not usually one to pine over a lost opportunity for love), but I don't know if I want to go through another episode of her allowing us to get close - and then chickening out at the first sign of things becoming more serious and running the f--k away again. Would I enjoy "having a good time"? Well, SURE I would... I am not abnormal. (Not completely, anyway.

Right now, though, I am feeling very lonely and quite blue. Normally, I am content in my solitude. Today, however It feels a bit overwhelming (my heart feels heavy). It feels like that twinge of tightness you get (or would get) in your chest as a kid when you were about to cry... only you don't want to cry, because you don't want to cry in front of people. I don't have any other signs of that magnitude of emotion -- just the chest tightness.

I am so tired. I have been working many, many hours, and I am not having the best time of it. My supervisors are driving me crazy. They do nothing to help in times tht it is needed. The negativity has overcome me on many different planes.

Bert is Feelin'...


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If you don't "get it" that's ok. My moods vary from light hearted and amused to darker and often stormy. I do not feel that medication is necessary for the majority of people for every day mood changes, but for some reason everyone I know seems to be on either Zoloft or Prozac. That sums up all that is wrong in the world.
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