Wednesday, February 09, 2005


Still not sleeping; either at night when I am off work or during the day after I get off work. I'd blame it on lack of sex, but ya know, when I was still married and had sex on a regular basis -- I didn't sleep then either.

I'm just not meant to sleep I guess. (no eyelids)

Anyway, it had been a while since I had stopped by the AmberBlog , so I decided to drop in tonight while I was waiting for my room to cool off enough to be able to attempt to sleep. I don't really share the same type of enthusiasm for dom/sub that Amber does with her husband however I find myself longing for a lasting relationship involving that much love and sex; which hasn't been part of my life for a while now.

I'd like to say that my life, like my weblog has been drab and uneventful; when in reality I have more shit going on in the background than I even have time to sort into piles.

Why you are the lucky recipient/s of this particular information-- when we have never really exchanged that many personal words is beyond me. Guess something I read in the last month or two worth of posts struck home. I dunno.

My girlfriend of 2 years is moving to Boston to take a (permanent) offer to be an office manager for a bunch of idiot people who can't seem to run the office efficiently. This offer came in the form of a letter on 21 December 2004. We had picked up her mail at her apartment on our way to her parents' home (a couple of hours away). I had been considering and planning for the last few months on asking this woman to marry me; only I was torn between being:
a) completely romantic and buying a ring in hopes that its the right design and she likes it and WANTS to marry me.

b) being completely traditional, asking her father and mother for their blessing BEFORE asking her - in hopes that they would give said blessing -- and that she would want to marry me.

c) being open minded, modern and safe, ask her to marry me, in hopes that she would say yes, and then pick out a ring together.
On the drive up to her folks' house, I was waiting for a break in her chatty monologue about work (always talking about work); about stupid people that don't know how to sign the supply closet list and they ran out of fax paper and how much that screwed up everything and a lot of other mundane details. Oddly, I liked listening to her rant about work because once she got it all out she transformed into a relaxed and peaceful person.

"You're awfully Quiet," she said, as she started to open her mail.

I looked over at her and smiled, and said that I was just thinking, and listening to her talk about her day. I had started to say... "and I've been thinking a lot lately..."

It was then that she became very excited and repeatedly said, "oh my god oh my god!"

She was happy on a level that was indescribible. She told me about the job offer. She told me how much money they were offering. She told me she couldn't believe it. She told me this was the best opportunity EVER.

-- What could I say at that point?

(more to come)


Bert is Feelin'...


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If you don't "get it" that's ok. My moods vary from light hearted and amused to darker and often stormy. I do not feel that medication is necessary for the majority of people for every day mood changes, but for some reason everyone I know seems to be on either Zoloft or Prozac. That sums up all that is wrong in the world.
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