My sincerest apology is currently being offered in regards to my absence as of late. I have indeed been busy, although it is difficult to determine what exactly has kept me busy. I hope to continue to post in the near future and be able to share some stories of my adventures with you.

bemused.
adj. so lost in thought as to be unaware of one's surroundings.

At this time, I am not seeing anybody, but I have kept myself busy with work and have been gaining ground in my education. I spend a good amount of time having online conversations, but am not at liberty to go into further detail regarding them at this time.
Eventually, I will be able to come back and update you regarding what I have been up to, but at this time I have not been dating, so there is very little to tell. Tonight, however, is WINE night, and I shall partake in a glass or three of wine with my dinner. Other than that, I can only let you know that I am, indeed alive and hope to post more in the near future.
Thank you all for checking in.

I am being mocked, by my own conscience. That is to say that, it seems no matter how hard I try, I keep slipping down, down...down. I just can't seem to get ahead, and it is getting awfully dark here. I have often wondered, Would it be easier if I just died?

sardonicism. adj.
scornfully or cynically mocking.

Of course, those thoughts never linger in my mind, and I do not think I even harbor the balls to actually do anything about it... but I will admit that in my darkest times, I dance around the edges of the thoughts of "what would happen if I just ended it... NOW?"
Now, now... before you start to worry about ol' Bert... I want to let you know that immediately after a thought such as that enters my mind - even before it has a chance to be a fully developed thought (we can call it a "thoughtlette"), other thoughts -- such as thoughts about how an act such as "that" might affect the people I love... stomp out the thoughtlette, and I decide that I must, once again, SUCK IT UP and just deal with the SHIT that has been dealt.

So, here I sit, with a plate of shit before me. Wondering WTH I ever did (in this life, or perhaps in a previous one), to deserve the rough patch that has lingered for so long. WHEN am I going to get my good luck? Why hasn't it arrived yet?

Please accept my apologies, as I have been detained for so long-- I am trying to find my way back to writing more often.

momentaneous\mo`men*ta"ne*ous (adj.)
lasting for a markedly brief time. [A fleeting glance]

Lately, (lately? ... well... I guess it's been what, four? Five months? Believe me, I just have had so much going on. Most of which NOW seems so insignificant. As much as I want to tell you everything -- I will be unable to do that. I will however, come back at some point to give you some indication of exactly what has kept me so busy.

Love to you all.

You wouldn't believe me if I told you. I have recently been jailed, for utilizing my American given right to PROTEST. I was just standing there, with my sign, protesting -- and thanks to the choads (who were also protesting), being idiots -- I was brutally treated by the local po-lice -- and taken to JAIL.

I just got out this morning... thanks to my good friend and his adequate money stash. My court date is pending - and I am now on "house arrest".

I hope to be able to update you soon -- but don't hold your breath.

I am not gay.
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(Not that there's anything wrong with it).

Tonight, I attended a dinner party - type thing with Autumn. A friend of ours (the friends who introduced us) has a birthday -which is technically tomorrow; and tonight was the celebration. They had said "come to the dinner party"... but what they had in leiu of dinner was a bunch of foodie-appetizers. It was good food, I am not complaining about the taste or quality of it -- but I had been thinking "dinner party" meant - dinner-food... so I went to the thing HUNGRY.

soiree. n.
an evening party or social gathering,
especially one held for a particular purpose

I stayed as long as I could, and when my headache (which has been showing up at different levels of intensity for the past three days) returned... with the threat of pending vengeance... so I wished the birthday lady well, thanked her and her husband for inviting me, and I slipped out the door.

I am really just not feeling like myself. My pointed head has a dull ache, and I am really very tired. The back of my neck feels like the tendons and nerves are drawn so tight that if a house fly were to hit the back of my head, the tendons would snap, sending my head to the floor, and it would very likely roll under some piece of heavy furniture. Then it would be MONTHS before anyone would finally find it. (Can you imagine how bad that might smell?)

Anyway... I am not feeling quite like myself. I am probably no longer my usual yellow self.

-ciao.

This morning, like most mornings, I woke up, and within a few seconds, I sneezed. This seems to be --for the most part-- a thing that happens EVERY DAY, especially in autumn and winter.

Most mornings, after the five to six successive sneezes, I am ready to proceed normally (with one or two random sneezes, but not profusely) throughout the course of the day.

sternuation (n)
A sneeze (or sternutation) is a semi-autonomous, convulsive expulsion of air from the lungs through the nose and mouth, usually caused by foreign particles irritating the nasal mucosa. Sneezing can be triggered through sudden exposure to bright light, a particularly full stomach, or viral infection, and can lead to the spread of disease.

Today, however... this is not the case. I now wish that I had kept an accurate count of the number of times I have sneezed, since It is probably somewhere around 70 times... and I have only been up and about for around three hours.

If I could remedy this situation by simply removing my nose (total rhinectomy), I somehow think it might just alter my appearance enough that woo-ing the ladies would be a problem for me.

(Granted, I have a steady at this time, but that doesn't mean I don't like to be noticed for my fantastically impressive profile.) In any case. I have sneezed another eight or nine times just in the ten minutes I have taken to type this post.

Sunday-Monday, I worked 24 hours. Tuesday, I came home, slept about 4 hours, and found this blog template was missing the right column. NORMALLY, that would not pose such a problem. But!!! For some reason, I will lay blame on sleep deprivation (for the most part), I could not wrap my pointed head around the uber-simplified way blogger has changed it's HTML editor since my last template edit.

gratitude
n. a feeling of thankfulness and appreciation. "He was overwhelmed with gratitude for their help".

A close friend of Rita came to my rescue. She built a new template for me. Once I took the time to figure out that the empty looking boxes in the blogger template editor had to be clicked to reveal what was beneath them. I felt rather dumbassish. Despite my near-volcanic brain fart-- she indeed did a marvelous job designing the template, and I feel I may never be able to repay the good deed.

The best I can do is to mention the deed here, throw out some heartfelt thank you (thank you thank you-s), and hope that she drops by and sees it.

I am pretty certain that my current mood of "envervted" is not exactly surprising to most of you. While I have been sleeping (a bit better than usual), I do not feel "caught up" on sleep just yet.

enervated
adj. exhausted, worn out

No worries... I will get there, eventually. Things with Autumn are going quite well... despite the fact we do not spend that much time together - we both seem quite happy with what time we have.

I have the next two days off ... but they fall during the week, so I will not be seeing (much of) A. in the next couple of days. Perhaps on my next round of off-days, her schedule will coincide with mine and fall on a weekend, and we can spend some time together. (yes, wishful thinking, indeed).

Anyway, right now, that is all I have for a quick update... I wish I had something significant to say, but right now, I am too tired to think.

I am so hungry lately! The past two days, I think I have eaten more than I normally eat in a week.

Coffee, oatmeal, toast, two apples, a quesadilla, a Pop Tart, water, some Cheetos, whole grain pasta, Cracker Jacks, and tea, a cup of "Airborne" (cold remedy herbs), among other things. I agree... most of it is not very healthy. I simply do not feel like actually COOKING, but I am (very) hungry.

esurient
adj. very hungry or greedy; ravenous; avid

I have been sleeping a lot too. I am not quite sure I will complete my recent QUEST for sleep and food... but I am trying very hard to get back to normal. To spell it out... I am sick. I am slightly achey, have nasal congestion, have suffered numerous headaches in the past few days, and I am inescapably exhausted.

I am hoping that over the next few days, all of the sleep I have been getting will (finally) help me to feel normal again.

So far, in the past two days, I have slept 21 hours (at least). For me, that is a LOT of sleep.

Do you see that? Above us up there? That's right. Mistletoe. PUKER UP and gimme a kiss.

I'll be back soon, and hopefully can post something worth reading. I've been very busy lately.

Well, I am falling...

Something

related word
n. a define it

I'm not sure what caused it... maybe it was all of the worms (see previous post). I'm not feeling so great tonight. I have upper-abdominal discomfort. (That is the pleasant way of saying - this is not a poo-problem.)

While it is not heartburn -- it feels like my stomach used to feel when I was in high school. You see, during my high-school years, I had problems with stomach acid and ulcers. Oddly enough, they went away a few years later. Until now.

dyspepsia
n. a disorder of digestive function
characterized by discomfort or
heartburn or nausea

Needless to elaborate -- but here it is anyway, I don't feel so great. I've (taken / eaten) some TUMS, which have not yet worked. It is as if I can feel the illness creeping its way up my body... and despite my best efforts, I will be unable to prevent it.

For now, I am going to blame the schmoes at work, who, today, were constantly asking me, "Are you getting sick?"

(sigh). This sucks.

Nobody Loves Me...
Everybody hates me...
I think I'll go eat worms!

Long ones, short ones, fat ones, thin ones
See how they wriggle and squirm

I bite off the heads, and suck out the juice
And throw the skins away
Nobody knows how fat I grow
On worms three times a day

Ohh...nobody loves me.

WHAT the HELL?

Maybe it is just a typical for me cluster migraine... Maybe it is because I did not (could not) sleep last night. Maybe it was something I ate. Maybe it was the wine I drank yesterday... WHATEVER caused this, I hope it doesn't stay. I am stuck, at work, with my shoulders tensed up in a knot - due to the knot of pain in my frontal lobe on the right side. If this headache persists, and if it follows the natural course of headaches (according to my personal history of having them), it will later move to the parietal lobe, and then it will go away... temporarily.

cephalalgia
n.(Medicine / Pathology) a technical name for headache

The Music Meme is complete. I am so relieved. I never really thought that picking a song for each of the "daily topics" would be so challenging. Despite the fact I had such a hard time with the Meme--- this post is partially about a song I heard while I was watching TV tonight (The Big C on Showtime) and this song played... so I went looking for it. Voila-- found it in seconds, literally, without even knowing the title or artist name.



Tomorrow, I have a lunch date. Yes. Really. A Lunch Date I know... it has been a while. I will let you know if it goes well, and if there will be more dates to follow this one.

denouement-
n.the final resolution to an intricate plot.

I am not sure that with my last date -- a few months ago I think it was, that I was ready. I am not sure that I am ready now... but I am going to try.

There is an italian restaurant, that has been getting good reviews -- it isn't a cheap place, but it isn't extremely expensive... I hope the food is good. I hope the SERVICE is good. I've read mixed reviews on the websites that let people write their own comments, so I guess we'll see.

Music Meme, Day 29: One song that gives you the creeps.

Doesn't Exist. someone said it all here.

I don't think there are any songs that "give me the creeps". Not even in the death-thrash-metal that claims to be satanic. BUT there are some groups that are so "different" that I consider them weird and I don't listen to them.

Bands like Slipknot. I really just think most of them do it for attention. Like Marilyn Manson - and before him Alice Cooper -- and Ozzy in his younger days -- it's all in their OFF view of showmanship.





Music Meme, Day 30: A song you’d like played at your funeral.

Ken Bonfield - Requiem [go hear it]

I feel that a song without words would be the best way to celebrate the life of someone as talkative as myself. Lyrics in a situation where I would be dead would interrupt the thoughts of whoever had come to say goodbye to me. This would allow them to remember me as they want to - with whatever memories they have; and since it has no lyrics, they would not be trying to read meaning into the chosen piece.

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That does it. I did it. I finished the postings of the 30 songs -- although it took me more than 30 days.

[Meme, Day 1, with the entire list of assignments, can be found here.]